Stress & Work-Life Balance - testimonials from our clients ...

Lauren
24 January 2016

Help On A Plane!


Hi,It's Lauren you very kindly gave up your time to give me a quick session on the plane from Cuba about managing my anxiety. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for your help.

Since your advice and guidance I've had my moments where I've been unsettled about things, but these are only everyday, rational concerns and none have resulted in even the mildest anxiety. In over four weeks I have not had an anxiety attack, I would like to mention, in this time I have booked a flight for 12 days to see my sister in Canada, and gotten a new role at work with more responsibility....these are two things that generally cause me some of my worst attacks.

I honestly can NOT believe how much of a positive impact it has had on me over the last few weeks and could never, for a moment have had a clue just how much difference such a short intervention could change my thoughts on things.

The biggest thing about what you said, that has helped me is about trying not to picture myself in the situation. Now, when I'm getting unsettled about something and an imaging the worst I try to imagine what I'd genuinely be thinking and advising if it was somebody else telling me that same concern. For example when I explained that I get anxious if my partner doesn't let me know he has gotten to work safely I continue start to imagine all kinds of awful things happening such as him being in fatal car accident or similar, I now imagine what I'd be thinking if a friend phoned all anxious because her hubby hasn't let her know he was at work. I know I'd be certain that he'd just ended up busy with something and forgotten or his battery had run flat and this will genuinely calm me down. Previously I'd imagine me telling a friend of my irrational concern and them only replying with something which they think I want to hear. Now I trust my own advice.

I know that's not the best way to explain I hope you understand what I mean; this then leads to you explaining that my body doesn't know the
difference between reality and my brains irrational thoughts which usually then lead to physical reactions on my body such as stomach churning, heart racing and cold sweats-so if I remind myself of what I would genuinely be advising a friend then this keeps me on track.

Speaking of tracks... When you talked about the train passing through the station, I also tell myself to do this and I can't actually believe how much it helps. l now allow negative or worrying thoughts to pass through rather than letting it eat my alive. I'm now starting to believe that it all really is mind over matter,
I'm starting to think if I have had four solid weeks with virtually no anxiety, even following a few nights on the wine (which generally always, always results in massive anxiety attacks the following day), I'm back at work and my partner is also back on nights, often forgetting to text me when he gets to work and I haven't had a single 'episode' then it really is a case of 'mind over matter' and believe If I've managed for this long then why break the habit? because... ' everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better'

Jonathan Smith
02 September 2015

I can’t thank Terry enough for the advice and guidance he has provided over the past number of weeks.
For the last 12 months I had been suffering from work based stress which sequentially impacted upon my personal life. I found it impossible to switch off from work, constantly consumed by worry, could no longer sleep and was no longer enjoying the important things in life.
I now feel completely transformed. Using practical tools and techniques Terry was able to put all of these issues into perspective and provide me with effective ways to deal with these.
I now feel less stressed in work meaning my overall performance has improved. I no longer take stress and worry home, allowing me to fully relax and make the most of my own time in the evenings – not just the weekends. These sessions have changed my life and have given me a much better appreciation for the things that actually matter.

I would highly recommend Terry to anyone.

Danny
Mersey Care
23 May 2015

I just wanted to take this opportunity to express some feedback about the life coaching course I’ve been on facilitated by Terry McElhinney.

I personally found the course profound and life changing, big words, I know.

But it’s the only way I can describe it! I learnt skills, tools and strategies shown on the course that I didn’t have, some I did, but I didn’t know I was using them.

I am now applying this knowledge to my everyday situation and I am feeling and gaining the benefits more and more. I am conscious that this type of course is not for everyone ...that’s their choice.

With that said, I think it is brilliant the Mersey Care NHS has given their employee’s this great opportunity for self development, and I wish for it to continue, as we will all benefit from it.

May I suggest that Mersey Care look to putting a one day refresher session some time later on for those who attended the full course, as this would keep the momentum going?

Please convey my thanks to Terry for his energy and all the good work he has done through this course for me and our colleagues. It’s been excellent!

And finally, a big thank you May for putting me on this course and facilitating this opportunity for me, thank you.

Yasmin
Mersey Care
03 July 2010

I am writing to give some feedback regarding the recent training I attended, Creative Health & Well-Being Life Coaching course facilitated by Terry McElhinney Initially, I had no idea what Life Coaching was about but went in with a very open attitude as I felt I had no other choice as my work and personal life was close to melt down.

The 1st meeting with Terry was so cathartic as the questions he asked made me feel that there was someone that understood and cared, without being overly intrusive.

From that 1st meeting he was able to help, and that was by giving me a skill to deal with the anxieties'

I was experiencing regarding having a public presentation to do that week.

The 2 full days were we worked as a group was such a learning experience (and no it wasn't group therapy as I thought it would be thank goodness) we learnt new skills and new ways of dealing with difficult issues and for the majority of us present we had most of the skills but were using them sub consciously in a very negative way.

The final session was re-capping and reporting on how I have used the skills and even then I was not always aware when I had used them and it was through Terry's sound knowledge of the subject he was able to highlight the times.

My work and personal life is still very much the same however I am using the skills and knowledge learned from this course in order to assist me day to day and as soon as I feel negative I try and reframe.

I can well imagine this was not a cheap course to run but can you please pass on my views to whoever funds this course and let them know of the value it has for staff, as instead of feeling crushed by stress I feel I can now deal with it positively to such a degree that my manager has noticed the difference in me already.

I think it would be useful to run this course regularly as I think it could impact on reducing sickness levels by giving staff a different way of dealing with life.

I would like to thank Merseycare and my manager Ted Cowan for allowing me to go on this.

Mersey Care Staff
Mersey Care
10 November 2009

Thank you for the reminder about my final follow-up session. I would like at this opportunity to say how fantastic I have found the course!

I am actually sad it is over! I feel empowered and enlightened, and excited about using the tools Terry has shown us.

Having the tools available to you is one thing, but being taught how to use them by Terry takes things on to another level. He is excellent at demonstrating the skills involved in changing your life for the better, and I can’t thank him enough for giving me the opportunity to wake up and smell the coffee!, before it’s too late.

I would certainly recommend anyone to attend this course given the chance, and I only hope that more people do get that chance.

On a personal level I will be contacting Terry further in order to address some other areas/problems in my life.

Thank you also May for your excellent administration and keeping us up to speed on everything!

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The mental work involved to be stressed or relaxed is the same ...

80% of the problem is ... ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ...

Enjoy the JOURNEY - not the DESTINATION ...

Enjoy the JOURNEY - not the DESTINATION" ...

Beliefs are stories that we have told ourselves for years, that feel real, but are not true ...

It's healthier physically and emotionally to focus on what you have, and not on what you have not ...

Solutions and Problems are either end of the same line - focus on the solution and you wont see the problem, and vice versa ...

Your mind can make a Heaven out of Hell and a Hell out of Heaven ...

Because it's normal, doesn't mean it's right ...

STOP Mustabating ...

Enjoying your job means ... never having to do a days work!...

Anything we do in the outside world, must first happen on the inside world of our mind ...

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger ...

ts not selfish to look after yourself - its SURVIVAL ...

Procrastination is the thief of opportunity ...

If one person can do something - so can you! ...

The past does not equal the future ...

If one person can do something - so can you! ...

We can either make the best of our situation - or change it ...

Be kind: everyone is fighting a hard battle...

Watch your character ... they become your destiny (REALITY)...

Watch your habits ... they become character ...

Watch your actions ... they become habits ...

Watch your words ... they become actions ...

Watch your thoughts ... they become words ...

Don't be SCARED ... be EXCITED...

For years you might have lived as your parents you, your friends you, your teachers you and your bosses' you. But where on earth are YOU ...

Remember that with change comes and element of fear: FEAR = False Evidence that Appears Real ...

Because it's normal, doesn't mean it's right ...

You can change the way you feel whenever you want. Here is the downside: there are no more excuses ...

The way you feel can change your physiology and your physiology can change the way you feel ...

There is no failure - only feedback ...

Pain is inevitable - suffering is optional ...

People who hurt us move on, but why do we carry on their job for them?

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent ...

Negative emotions are signals that something needs to be changed ...

It's not whether you get knocked down: it's whether you get up ...

Problems don't get better with time. You cannot change what you do not acknowledge, and what you do not acknowledge is going to get worse until you do ...

No one has control of your mind ...

If you knew this was your last year on earth, would you be kinder, more loving, living life to the full, more caring, less judgmental? If you would, don't wait, change now ...

86,400 seconds in every day, once they have gone, they have gone forever. Don't waste even 1 of them ...

Remembering it's only a habit ...

Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give it. so if you dont like the way you're feeling change the meaning ...

Every feeling and emotion you have is your choice ...

Repeating: 'every day in every way I am getting better and better' will change your life ...

Insanity is attempting to get a new result by doing the same thing over and over again ...

People try to fill emotional gaps with material things or work ...

Your body is your business suit. You must look after yourself. How you feel depends on how you look ...

Pushing through the fear is better than being controlled by it ...

Baby falls: if they gave up on the first few attempts no-one would walk ...

Success is creating pleasure in your life and growing and learning from the bad times. Failure is being able to find pain however good it is ...

The brain is the most powerful computer in the world, but comes without a user manual ...

Simple small changes daily improve the quality of your life amazingly ...

Fatigue makes cowards of us all - strong mind tired body wont work ...

Mental rehearsal helps to desensitise - without the pain and time ...

Mind reading is mental rehearsing ...

Our sub conscious mind can't tell the difference between a constructive or destructive thought - It will not judge ...

Worrying is mental rehearsing ...

Suspicions are anchors ...

Self talk has to turn into its physical equivalent ...

If you keep on doing what you're doing, you keep on getting what you've got ...

Enthusiasm works negatively or positively ...